The Island of Dr. Morose

"Spiritual Matters" by Duncan Long

The Island of Dr. Morose

By Karen S. Elliott

This is a shadowy, sinister place.

Writer-creatures – empowered by lethargic readers – mince words like a mad scientist with surplus genetic material.

Watch closely as the scientist leans over, dicing and splicing, spitting out another poorly-edited tome. This scientist must be stopped!

Grammar-gremlins of grotesque shapes spasm and morph. The new silhouettes are not pleasing. These beasts breed unchecked and without regard to the interpreters – their readers.

The grammar-gremlins escape their cages! The typo-trolls break through the barricades! Primordial punctuation runs amok!

These beasts contaminate our bookstores; they infect our cyberspace. They slither onto every page; they sit in wait, fangs extended. They tear into our flesh with razor-claws. They hypnotize us; they make us believe all is well, all is as it should be.

The Island is now a place where good writing has gone to die. This new breed of the ill-written and feebly-redacted will continue to multiply, and they will spread out across the literary landscape.

Run for your life, oh valiant reader – and take your children with you!

We must retreat! We must regroup and refocus our corrective energy!

And we must stand united against the unspeakable scourge that permeates our manuscripted landscape!

Raise your scarlet correction quill against the enemy!

***

“When I split an infinitive, god damn it, I split it so it stays split.” ~Raymond Chandler

I’m giving away a 5,000-word proofreading/copy editing sample – to be entered in the random drawing for this proofreading sample, make a comment by noon (central time) on Monday, August 22. For more information, please see my Hire Me page.

Artwork – “Spiritual Matters” – by book cover illustrator Duncan Long. For information on book cover illustrations please visit http://duncanlong.com/art.html.

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