The Dark Creature Passes, Part I

SPECIAL NOTE – This is horror. If you don’t like horror, turn back now. As you are turning back, notice the guy in the dark, voluminous cape. Walk toward that guy. 

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Cruckshank’s Greeting

by Karen R. Sanderson

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My old bones ache and feel as if they are frozen into the depths of their marrow. Adjusting my rump on the bale of hay, I try to settle. I pull the moth-bitten horse blanket tighter around me, my shoulder blades sticking out like two tiny wings. The breeze picks up again and disturbs the gray hair around my ears, and I shiver. Adjusting my cap, I wait.

I observe the night sky, as I have done every evening for decades. The darkness is quite complete – there are no stars in this part of the world. No twinkly gases or planets. No vaporous clouds. There is no moon. 

Long ago, in another world, I gazed upon twinkling galaxies spread with glistening paints across a blue-black canopy, listening to hooting owls and the lonely yowls of night creatures. Then…the voice of my mother…calling me home.  

I hear a clattering of hooves and that scraping, dragging sound – the souls he pulls behind him. I stand up and stretch, joints snapping. I do not know the how of it – how much longer I can endure the physical strain of this employment. But it is certainly preferred over the alternative of death. 

I see the horse’s snorting breath first – glowing red and stinking. Then the rider and his mount appear in my field of vision. The Friesian horse is sleek ebony, and the leather he wears is all black, gleaming with a high gloss and squeaking from liberal saddle soap. A most beautiful animal in an occupation most distasteful. 

The rider’s smirking countenance comes into view – a productive night, I imagine. He throws his leg jauntily over the neck of the horse, his black boot glistening with spit and polish. He floats to the ground with his cape spread like bat wings. A blanketing wave of the velvety fabric, and he is gone. The chains that are attached to the catch of the day fall clattering to the dirt.

I drag the chained souls into an immense barn, large enough to produce an echo if there were such a thing as an echo in this vacuous blackness. The granite floor flaunts an occasional scorch mark from previous burnings. Coffin-shaped boxes are lined up, waiting for their cargo. 

I consign each of the souls to a private wood-slat container. And then the burning. Their pleading voices, the crying, the screeching. Oh, if I were able to get that jangle and clank out of my head! Their cries and begging and wheeling-dealing make no difference. They are extinguished with efficient dispatch. 

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Bring peace to the holiday tug of war

Bring Peace to The Holiday Tug Of War

NOTE: Written years ago with only the Christmas holidays in mind, I am now more aware that many families celebrate many different holidays during this time of year. I think this article speaks to all families, all holidays, and the stress young marrieds and many couples feel during this time of the year. 

Holidays of yore

When I was in my twenties and a new mom, I spent many a holiday-season hour on the road. First, an hour in the car driving to my mother-in-law’s house for Christmas Eve. Then, on Christmas Day, my husband and I would pack up the car and the toddler and drive to my mom’s house in the morning and on to my sister-in-law’s house in the afternoon. 

Not the holiday I dreamed of

After the holiday, I was wiped out and angry. Every year I vowed the next year would be different. I was not having the Christmas I truly wanted, and I was frustrated. But, I didn’t know how to talk to my spouse about my holiday dreams – I wanted to start our own traditions, in our own home. 

Why do we run run run?

But why do we do this? Why do we run-run-run during the holidays? According to Kim Leatherdale, a licensed counselor and therapist in Oldwick, New Jersey, women are naturally pleasers. We want everyone to be happy; we want everything to run smoothly. As a result, we rarely get to relax and enjoy the holiday as we want. And we rarely have the opportunity to form our own family traditions. Many of us have not had the Christmas we dreamed about since we started our own family and succumbed to all the family pressure. 

The holidays are coming! 

Talking about holiday dreams and preferences is not something most couples discuss before a relationship develops or even after you say the “I do’s.” But as the holidays approach, you hear little snippets about what others continue to take for granted. Your mother-in-law might hint about the menu for her Christmas brunch or you might overhear your mom on the phone with your sister planning the Christmas Eve dinner. 

Talk now

If you hope to put your own stamp on the holidays, now is the time to discuss holiday plans with your spouse. Decide on a time to sit down and talk about it – just the two of you – before the invitations and expectations start to pile up. 

Communicate – As Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Wexford, PA, says, don’t imagine that your spouse is a mind reader. Sit down and talk about what you liked and did not like about last year’s holiday, what’s important and not important. Be willing to listen and compromise. Be open to each other’s ideas of how to handle the holidays, from demanding relatives to demanding schedules. 

Start your own traditions – When you are living at home with mom and dad, that’s your “bubble.” Once you are married, that should be the most important relationship. You need to move your bubble to surround you and your spouse. If you want to start new traditions in your own home with your spouse, do it.  

Tune in to the kids – Be aware of your children’s needs and desires, within reason. If your teen daughter wants to see her BFF on Christmas Day, allow an opportunity for that to happen. Invite the BFF to visit on Christmas Day and talk to her parents ahead of time. 

Be aware of feelings – Kim Leatherdale suggests you be aware of others’ feelings but don’t feel responsible for them. Understand that your mother-in-law may be upset with this new plan, but you are not responsible for making her happy – she is. And once you and your spouse decide on a plan, sit down with the families and discuss it together. 

Take turns – Has the holiday schedule of visiting been a little lopsided? More time with one family or the other? Decide to take turns – this year we go to your mom’s house for Christmas Eve, next year we go to my mom’s for Christmas Eve. And every year we spend Christmas Day at home!

De-stress the day – Wake up, grab the mug of coffee, relax and open gifts, and watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Ask visitors to drop in after 12:00 (or at a time designated by you), and ask them to bring a covered dish like a brunch casserole, a crock pot of chili, or a pan of lasagna or enchiladas. And why not use paper plates? You are de-stressing your holiday – don’t ratchet it back up by having to cook and clean all day. If you must cook the big turkey, do just that and ask everyone else to bring the extras.

Recession adjustment – Are you feeling the pinch from recession or a lost income? Perhaps it’s time to start a tradition of having a family gift-giving pool or purchase gifts just for family members under a certain age. Or use this time to teach children compassion – collect the money usually used for gifts and make a contribution to a local charity. Or collect the kids’ old toys no longer used and give them to a homeless or women’s shelter. 

Have a sourpuss? 

I polled about 30 people – young and old, parents and children, husbands and wives. Fifty percent of the responders to my survey said they felt pressure from a spouse more than anyone else. I found a handful of responders had family members who sulked because they weren’t getting their own way. Again – you are not responsible for that person’s feelings. If it’s necessary to spend part of a day with that sulky person, have an out – plan to go for a walk or to the park for an hour or plan a visit to the local science center or museum (check ahead for holiday hours!). 

Complications from divorce 

After a divorce, you need to be even more flexible, especially where children are concerned. Add to that a new blended family or additional in-laws, and you need to learn to bend before you break. I celebrated many holidays and birthdays a week before or a few days after the actual date on the calendar. I would remind myself that it’s not the date that’s important, it’s the people I spend time with. Don’t push and pull your parents or children into knots just so you can have the same Christmas morning that you’ve had for the last twenty years. 

Communication and a little forethought is all you need to plan a dream holiday. And may all your holiday dreams come true. 

So my book is published…now what?

by Elizabeth H. Cottrell

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During the first year of the COVID pandemic, I wrote a book that had been in my head and heart for over ten years. During the second year of the pandemic—thanks in great part to Karen’s encouragement, support, and beta reading—I researched my options for getting the book published and did the arduous task of manuscript preparation for my publisher. HEARTSPOKEN: How to Write Notes that Connect, Comfort, Encourage, and Inspire launched this past July 2022 by Koehler Books in Virginia Beach. Since many of Karen’s readers are also writers and authors, I thought I might share a bit of the journey with you.

There are lots of valid reasons for writing a book and trying to get it published. There may be stories—fiction or memoir—that you feel compelled to write. You may have a message or ministry you feel called to share (my own primary motivation). You may have a consulting or speaking business, and a book gives you credibility and a product to sell. You may have a yearning to be a published author. Any of these is reason enough, but don’t harbor the illusion that a single book—especially your first book—is likely to make you rich and famous. You’ll be lucky if you break even.

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The publishing industry, like so many, is experiencing a significant consolidation, and as the few remaining companies get larger it’s harder and harder for a new author to get noticed. Getting a literary agent is equally challenging—they only make money if your book makes money, so convincing them that this will happen is a tough sell. Self-publishing is becoming a much more appealing option, but there is a steep learning curve and you must take responsibility for every aspect of the journey from writing and editing to formatting and design. And then, of course, there’s printing and marketing. 

It can be daunting. 

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You always have the option of paying a vanity press to do everything for you, but that is quite expensive—upwards of $10-15,000 or more. There are lots of small publishers, varying in quality and integrity, who will take your money and get a book in your hands, but they do very little, if anything, to help you sell or promote it. 

I chose a “hybrid publisher,” which is a new breed that has emerged from all these industry changes. I purchased a “package” for about $5,000 that included acquiring ISBN numbers, editing, interior layout design, cover design, and getting my book listed with Ingram book distribution service and all the major online booksellers (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, etc.). Koehler provided lots of guidance and training for marketing, but much of this is still my responsibility. I signed a contract to give them publishing rights for three years, but I maintain the copyright and can do whatever I want with it after that three-year period. At no extra charge, they are also helping me explore the opportunity to create an audiobook. 

I worked hard to “build the buzz” for several months before my book launch. I made a spreadsheet with quotable excerpts from the book and used Canva to create graphics (sized appropriately for each social media platform) to post several times a week on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest. I wrote to lots of other authors and influencers to request testimonials to include in the book and use on social media.

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Now that the book is out, it’s tempting to want to coast, but since the number of books sold is largely dependent on my efforts, I know that’s not the wise choice. Fortunately, my topic is “evergreen” and won’t become dated anytime soon. I still want to push hard this fall in hopes of increasing holiday gift sales. Here are the highlights of my marketing plan for the next few months:

• Contact as many people as possible who were quoted or cited in the book and let them know – hopefully they’ll consider sharing information about the book with their audience.
• Be on the lookout for focus or interest groups or trade associations related to card and note writing (stationery, paper, pens, inks, etc.). 
• Make myself available for speaking engagements. 
• Make myself available (via Zoom) to join book clubs who choose to read my book. 
• Continue to post (less often) about the book and share tips and advice from the book on social media. 
• Try to identify major magazines that have Holiday Gift Guides and try to get listed in them. 
• Look for guest opportunities on blogs (like this one—thank you, Karen!) and podcasts.
• Ask my followers to ask their own local bookstores if they will carry my book. 

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Long-term projects that support the book’s message:

• Consider developing one or more mini-courses for those who want to learn more about writing notes.
• Create digital e-books of sample notes (sympathy, thank you, etc.)
• Offer seasonal tips and support. 
• Look for good values in quality stationery and writing accessories to share with my social media followers and those on my email list.
• Some have suggested I open an Etsy store to sell digital products, but this requires another round of research to identify pros and cons.

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I’m surprised how often I’m being asked, “What are your plans for your next book?” I know many of my writer friends, especially those who write fiction, are teeming with ideas and stories they want to explore. My own writing aspirations are more along the lines of sharing the things I read and reflect on to strengthen the connections of our most Heartspoken life, and that is most easily accomplished through my blog, Heartspoken.com and my Compass Points newsletter. 

I find it tricky not to let myself get overwhelmed with all the things I could be doing, but I want to focus on doing what I can and enjoy the process. It’s enormously gratifying to now be a “published author,” but I’ve learned that getting the book published is actually just the beginning of a whole new journey—one I plan to enjoy as much as possible.

I’d welcome tips or suggestions from any of you who are more experienced in this journey. I’m no longer young, but I’m still trainable.

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Elizabeth’s circuitous career has taken her from published leprosy researcher to stay-at-home mother, to community activist and leader serving on nonprofit and corporate boards, to ham radio operator, to freelance writer/editor and blogger at Heartspoken.com. Above all, she is a connector and encourager whose expertise and passion for note writing is coming at just the right time to a world made keenly aware by pandemic that we humans are hardwired for connection. 

For more information about her book, including options for ordering it, reading sample pages, and testimonials, go to Heartspoken book. If you order from Amazon, while you’re there, be sure to click the FOLLOW button to her Amazon profile.

Connect with Elizabeth: 

• Facebook
• Join her FB group: The Art of the Heartspoken Note
• LinkedIn
• She is @Heartspokenlife on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest 

Iris van Ooyen embodies “Radiant”

Going from surviving to thriving

By author Iris van Ooyen

Writing Radiant: How to Have All the Energy You Need to Live a Life You Love was something that had been in the back of my mind for a while. During the pandemic I realized the insights I had acquired over the years were much needed now—not later.

I’ve always been passionate about supporting people in having more energy and loving their life. That’s what I’ve assisted clients with for many years. 

I believe life is meant to be enjoyed. We’re here to thrive—not just get by and survive, though that’s what many people are doing for a variety of reasons.

One of those reasons is lack of energy. Another important one is lack of clarity on what you truly want and what makes your heart sing. Plus many of us have lost touch with our body and our intuition. 

That’s what happened to me when I was burnt out at the age of twenty-four. 

I was a perfectionist who took on too much responsibility because I cared so much — about my demanding marketing job, my family and how other people felt in general.

I wanted everything to work out for everyone. In fact, I was so busy taking care of everybody else, I forgot to take care of myself. Instead of sitting down to relax I cleaned the house, visited my recently widowed mother-in-law and tried to be the perfect girlfriend.

I had to take naps in the afternoon to be able to stay awake for dinner. A couple of years later I finally ended up at a naturopath who told me “You have energy for four hours per day and you do the rest on willpower.”—

Part of me was proud for sticking it out on pure will, until he finished his sentence.

—“and it is damaging your organs.’’

That was a huge wake-up call for me. I realized that even several years after my burnout I hadn’t really made the changes that were needed for me to be happy and fully alive. To thrive. 

I had been going on this treadmill of things that were expected of me and that I expected of myself. I had these dreams that when I stopped and looked at them, I realized weren’t bringing me the joy and fulfillment I had thought they would bring me. 

To the outside world I had it made. The corporate job, the brand-new house, the handsome husband. I had everything I thought I had ever wanted. And I realized none of that mattered when I wasn’t happy. When I didn’t have the energy to do what I desired, let alone enjoy life.

First, I needed to get healthy again. I had to find ways to have more energy—and I did. When I had more energy, I started looking at what I truly wanted and who I was below all the layers that I had adopted over time. As a result, I started my own business. 

I discovered I am highly sensitive and highly intuitive. Many things fell into place from those two revelations. I understood more about myself, and past decisions now made more sense. With this new perspective I realized that what I had always seen as a weakness turned out to be a result of being overstimulated. There was nothing wrong with me—I simply hadn’t learned how to support a highly sensitive person. 

This ignorance had caused many problems that could have been avoided if only I had known that I was a sensitive soul! 

That’s one of the reasons I created my free Sensitivity Quiz. Because life makes so much more sense when you know who you are and what you need. Not because you’re being difficult (because that’s what a lot of sensitive people are being told) but because your brain works in a different way!

A highly sensitive person holds on to much more detail, therefore they reach the limit of the amount of information they can absorb faster than those who are not highly sensitive. 

It was a relief to realize I wasn’t fragile or exaggerating, my brain was simply wired differently!

I want people to not have to go through the struggle and learning I went through. That’s why I mentor people and created online programs on managing your energy, embracing your sensitivity, and learning to listen to your intuition. With Radiant I’ve made the insights even more readily available for a larger crowd, in the hopes it will help people steer clear from burnout. 

My book is not just for sensitive souls—though if you are highly sensitive, you’ll probably have an even bigger need for the tools in this book.

If you fear you are nearing a burnout or simply don’t have the amount of energy and enthusiasm for life that you would like to have, then I highly recommend reading Radiant. 

I share many very personal experiences because I feel it helps to see the challenges others go through and understand why the tools I developed made a difference for me. With social media we can get the impression that everyone else lives a perfect life and has it all figured out while we struggle. And I wanted to show an honest story of my trials, tribulations and victories so the reader has something to relate to. It’s important not to feel alone on this journey here on earth.

Life’s too short to be miserable or exhausted. I believe that which brings you the most joy is what will bring you the most. That’s what has been guiding my choices for many years. 

And I hope you’ll give yourself permission to pursue that, too!

If you’re curious whether you’re a sensitive soul you can take the free Sensitivity Quiz here or sign up for my email tips & inspiration here. 

Wishing you much energy and inspiration!

AUTHOR BIO

Iris van Ooyen is the creator of the SWEET POWERTM approach to personal and career development, growth, and self-care. An MBA with a background in corporate marketing, Iris combines her extensive business experience with her renowned razor-sharp intuitive insights in order to support thousands of clients in living fuller, healthier lives. 

In addition to Radiant, Iris wrote her YA Fantasy novel Poisoned Arrow—because it was too much fun not to. Click FOLLOW on her Amazon Author Profile.

Connect with Iris:

Goodreads

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HYPERLINKS:

Sensitivity Quiz

Newsletter

Amazon Author Profile for Iris

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Bonus:

Elizabeth H. Cottrell’s stellar review of van Ooyen’s book – 

Cottrell’s “Radiant” Book Review