A Father and a Dad, by Randy Mitchell

In the spirit of Father’s Day, I’ve decided to begin by telling the tale of one of the best.

My father was born in the early 1930’s among the rolling hills of Arkansas, went to that state’s great university, served in the U.S. Air Force as a Sergeant during the Korean War, was employed for thirty plus years in the pharmaceutical industry after college, became married and stayed devoted to my mom for over forty years, was active in church, social organizations, and a dedicated father to my sister and I. He suddenly passed away in 2002 leaving behind his family, many friends, and a legacy of kindness and generosity which is still greatly missed among those who knew him. He was an increasingly rare, man’s man who’s primary mission in life was to be a great husband, friend, co-worker, and above all else, dad. And there’s definitely a difference in someone just being a father.

I’ve never been a father, so I haven’t experienced all that comes along with being one. Rather, I can only look to mine as an example of what I would’ve striven to become if I had had children. My dad, from the moment I was born till the day he passed, never stopped loving, watching over, and keeping tabs on me.

He was the type who was rather relaxed, conservative, but not afraid to speak his mind when he felt strongly about something. If I had an issue or problem in my life, he’d give me his opinions without being judgmental and move forward. And if I decided to try anything different than most my age, he’d shake his head, point out the pros and cons, and let me go about my business, win or loose. It was as though he was content watching me suffer the consequences if things went wrong, therefore teaching me some valuable life lessons without being judgmental. But, the biggest thing about my father was that no matter when, day or night, I could call upon him if I ever needed anything, period. He didn’t care, because my mom, sister, and I were the most important parts of his life.

Some of the fondest memories sticking with me about my dad were during my early teenage years. I had taken a paper route delivering an afternoon newspaper. But on weekends, the papers reverted to being morning deliveries going with my lifelong dislike of early wakeup calls. Every Saturday and Sunday for around three years my dad would shake me awake, pull me out of bed, and sit with me on the street curb in the morning darkness to roll and rubber band the 100+ pieces of news. But, he made it fun. We’d always throw the papers in the front seat of his car while I sat on the window seal throwing them atop the porches in record time. Boy, did we stir awake a few sleepy eyes as I miss threw some, slapping the houses front doors, and rousing alive some barking house pets.

Those are cherished moments for me; small envelopes of time among early hours when dad and son connected talking about school, girls, friends, and whatever else filled my mind. I know now that he was also teaching me responsibility, reliability, and work ethics at a very young age. But above it all, he demonstrated what was truly most important to him.

When I tell others about my father I oftentimes feel bad, almost guilty that I had such a good one. Maybe it’s because so many have grown up without theirs, or don’t have the special relationship like I had with mine. And it’s a fact of society that growing up without a caring father, or mother, directly affects those individuals not having that exclusive bond.

I wish everyone could have what I had. And I think about my dad everyday, wondering what he’s doing right now, but comforted in the knowledge that I’ll see him again. Who knows, maybe they have paper routes in heaven!

This Father’s Day, call, or go see your father; if you haven’t spoken with him in a while or don’t carry a good relationship with him, put out a little effort and try and reconnect. If you’ve lost yours, like I have mine, honor him somehow. Place a flower on his tombstone, say a prayer, light a candle, or talk about him with those who knew him best. And if you are a father, be the best you can be. But most importantly, be a dad.

To all the fathers out there…

***

Randy Mitchell

Mr. Mitchell lives in Dallas, Texas and has spent most of his career as a commercial airline pilot. He’s an avid blogger, movie fan, martial artist, and lover of all things Dallas Cowboys. His first romance novel, Sons in the Clouds, is currently available wherever  e-books are sold.

See Randy’s website, The Inspirational Writer.
Connect with Sons in the Clouds on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

See the inspirational Sons in the Clouds book trailer.
Books available online at: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Sony Reader Store, Apple I-Bookstore, and KoBo.

Opening photo from Walldesk.net.

The Internet and Real Relationships, by Randy Mitchell

Ever since Al Gore famously invented the internet (Ha Ha), the personal information we share through our computer keyboards has exploded like the world’s arsenal of nuclear bombs firing off at once. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, etc. have each grown at such an astonishing rate that oftentimes these websites periodically shut down for a while trying to catch up with their increased demand. We all frequently post, like, befriend, tweet and whatever else in an attempt to share and promote our opinions and viewpoints, each vying for that coveted piece of the super information highway. And there are us bloggers–the ones who really try displaying our inner emotions. According to Wikipedia, as of February 2011 there are more than 156 million public blogs in existence. My friends, that’s a bunch of fingers dancing along some plastic letter and space buttons!

When I started my social media campaign to promote my book and website, I knew absolutely nothing about how to proceed. I worked with someone who specializes in just this sort of thing, and off we went into the wild blue yonder spreading the word, that I, an unknown personality, had a story to tell and product to sell.

The blogs I write, usually every week, are now read by hundreds of people on a routine basis scattered across several websites. I know, because we all have the unique ability of seeing these numbers as they happen. It’s been lots of fun doing this, and has given me the opportunity to try something I never thought of before–the successful creation of a new, part-time career.

I would venture to guess that virtually every person reading this also has more than one social media account. It doesn’t matter where, because the fact that you have them says something on its own. You see, when you hit that “create account” button a magical thing happened: you opened your life up to the whole world to notice. Shortly afterward, you started searching for people to connect with.

At first, they were those you knew personally: family members, best friends, old college and high school classmates, co-workers, etc. Then, you started getting friends and follower requests from those you’ve never even met, more than likely looking for a professional connection. No matter the reason, suddenly and miraculously, you glance at your network numbers one day and notice you’ve added hundreds of people knowing very little about them, not to mention, never meeting them personally.

Like so many, I read other writers blogs. I really enjoy the creativity which goes behind each and every one. There’s tons of gifted talent online, and you don’t need to walk inside Barnes & Noble and buy the latest bestseller to find it. It’s out here, and at everyone’s fingertips. Sometimes, I find myself reading the comments underneath different articles. Most are appreciative and congratulatory; some are often negative and critical.

Which draws to mind: Who are these people, really: the writers and those who post? What do they actually think? What are their true beliefs? Are they only writing what looks good or popular to say, therefore appearing socially and politically correct? If you met them in person, would you actually enjoy being around them or bolt for the door screaming to yourself, “Whoa, not exactly what I expected!”

Ever since I started participating in social media, I’ve had lots of personal exchanges from those I connect with, and it’s been great. Two which come to mind are one who’s a mega-bestselling author and another that had their book made into a movie. I asked for, and they followed through with some wonderful advice. They graciously gave me their time and counsel without ever even meeting them, although I would jump at the chance.

The people we all meet through social media can be priceless, but we should all guard against replacing them with real relationships, therefore substituting bona fide flesh and blood for focused words on a screen–it kind of goes along with my opinions on replacing personal communication with texting and e-mailing, it just isn’t the same. I for one would love to have a huge party someday with each and every friend, follower, fellow blogger, and whoever else I’m connected to on the internet. To spend time with them, place a hand-in-hand, watch their mannerisms, and listen to the tone of their voices as they speak. It would be an amazing adventure to actually see and sense what brought us all together inside Al Gore’s super creation (once again, Ha Ha).

Now log on and let’s connect, I’d love to meet you!

Randy Mitchell

Mr. Mitchell lives in Dallas, Texas and has spent most of his career as a commercial airline pilot. He’s an avid blogger, movie fan, martial artist, and lover of all things Dallas Cowboys. His first romance novel, Sons in the Clouds, is currently available wherever e-books are sold.

See Randy’s website, The Inspirational Writer.
Connect on Sons in the Clouds on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Watch the Sons in the Clouds book trailer.
Books available online at: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Sony Reader Store, Apple I-Bookstore, and KoBo.

See Randy’s guest blog from April 26, The Balance of Happiness.

The Balance of Happiness, by Randy Mitchell

The Balance of Happiness, article by Randy Mitchell

We all seek happiness: that wonderful, peaceful feeling when we believe our personal universal stars are meticulously aligned, giving us that oozing and satisfying feeling. It can be found everywhere, and can hit you when least expected, sending you soaring to new heights along your life’s super highway. Many of us think we know what will make us truly happy: that winning lottery ticket, a romantic relationship filled with never-ending butterflies, or perhaps becoming eye candy for paparazzi-infused photographers hanging on your every thought or gesture. Once again, we all think we know what triggers those warm feelings, but happiness is not all that hard to find, it’s simply a balancing act.

I recently saw an article by international bestselling author and humanitarian, Matthieu Ricard in which he gave ten items to avoid while seeking happiness and having a fulfilled life:

1) Becoming rich, powerful and famous. 2) Treating the universe as if it were a mail order catalog by expecting it to gratify our every desire. 3) Yearning for the “freedom” to achieve every last wish. This is not freedom, but being the slave of your own thoughts. 4) Seeking too much pleasure. Pleasurable sensations soon become dull, and often become unpleasant. 5) Maliciously taking revenge on someone who has hurt you. By doing so, you become like them and poison your own mind. 6) Assuming that any one thing will make you happy. Such predictions usually don’t turn out to be true. 7) Expecting all praise and no criticism. Without criticism, you won’t progress. 8) To vanquish all your enemies. Animosity never brings happiness. 9) To never face adversity. Refraining from doing so will make you weak and vulnerable. 10) Expending all your effort on taking care of yourself alone. Altruism and compassion are the roots of genuine happiness.

Any of these look familiar? Look back at number one… I wonder why it’s at the top of the list?

Now, don’t misinterpret me here, I like money and all which comes with it. There’s not a thing wrong with wanting to become successful and thought of highly among your peers. Realistically, most would agree. But, if you had this one item, probably sitting at the top of everyone’s personal list of what would make them happy, would it really? Or would it only give you happiness for a while, making you continue to search and strive for other things to experience fulfillment?

Whitney Houston’s recent death, along with so many other mega-sized celebrities leaving this earth at such a young age, has always made me pause to wonder, why? After all, looking from the outside, she had everything: A huge fortune, unbelievable fame, beauty, incredible talent, a family who loved her. Yet, her personal life was consumed with alcohol and substance abuse–a need she depended on deeply and couldn’t shake till it stole her final breath. Most would argue looking at her life: Boy, if only I could step into her shoes for a day I’d have everything I ever wanted! Would you really? Apparently and sadly, like so many others, it wasn’t enough for Whitney Houston. And it’s a lesson learned that what most would hold atop a pedestal as being the picture of blissful fulfillment, well… But, I’m using her as an example to understand why someone who literally had it all; obviously didn’t.

Happiness, like so many other things in life is best achieved using a simple term: Balance. If you have money and fame, great, but could you be happy without it? If you were granted one wish from a Jeanie-In-A-Bottle and it was granted, would that wish define your happiness? Hmm, that reminds me of the old saying, “Careful what you wish for, you just might get it.”

Most of the happiest people I know are that way because it’s just who they are. They choose to be happy. They experience it from within regardless of how much money they have or success they achieve. They don’t allow outside influences to steal it and have learned to block out those things and people who try. They aren’t ones who write or speak negatively. They say “no” to destructive personalities and forces that come like a thief-in-the-night. They’ve learned to walk the balancing line between what truly makes them happy and what the world and others think will make them happy.

Of course, we’re all guilty of believing what we see–that what the world has to offer will paint a permanent smile on our faces. But, the only smile I really trust is the reflection in the mirror every morning. It’s the one that always tells the tale.

May your smile be completely, balanced.

***

Randy Mitchell

Mr. Mitchell lives in Dallas, Texas and has spent most of his career as a commercial airline pilot. He’s an avid blogger, movie fan, martial artist, and lover of all things Dallas Cowboys. His first romance novel, Sons in the Clouds, is currently available wherever e-books are sold.

See Randy’s website, The Inspirational Writer.
Connect with Sons in the Clouds on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. See the inspirational Sons in the Clouds book trailer.
Books available online at: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Sony Reader Store, Apple I-Bookstore, and KoBo.

Randy will be back on the blog on May 17 with another fabulous article.